Okay, I have a lot to say, so I'm just going to start from the beginning. Here goes...
On my way home from school today, I was doing a lot of thinking. I've been reading this book called The Wild Girls by Pat Murphy, and it's a really great book with some really great ideas. One of those ideas is to look at the subtext of things. The text is what is happening in a situation. The subtext is what is really happening in a situation. Another idea in the book is to ask questions. It's the only way to figure out what's true and what's not. This is what got me thinking. So as I was thinking, I remembered something that Alison said to me when I was talking to her and her mom Tuesday. I remembered that she said that a lot of times, people have what she calls demon attacks, where the devil gets ahold of them and they're just not themselves. And I thought maybe if I could just sit down and talk to my mom, I could figure out what she was really like. Then maybe I would have something to remember when she has one of her "demon attacks." Maybe it wouldn't work, but I knew I wanted to try.
I walked into the living room while my brother went off to watch television in the other room. At first, I was terrified, but I knew that if I didn't do it now, I would just go another night wondering if things could ever get better. So I asked her if we could just talk and she said sure. I sat down in the chair next to her, but the lamp was between us, so we couldn't see each other's face. That might not've been what I was supposed to do, but I was too chicken to look at her and say what I had to say.
We talked about a lot of stuff. We talked about the reason her and my dad argue. We talked about why we don't get along. We talked about my writing and how we both were feeling. I had to keep reminding myself, "Say what you really mean. That's the only way she'll know how you feel." I figured out that this whole time, we've both wanted the same thing. We both just hated the fact that we weren't close and we wanted to get closer. We promised each other that we're going to start talking more. I told her to let me know if I'm doing anything to hurt her and she told me the same thing. It really was amazing.
So, long story short, the questions got their answers and the subtext became the text. And It definitely worked for the better. Praise God for answered prayers, and for giving me the strength to fix things. I'm giving him the glory for all of it.
~Rachel
