Confusion...UGH

Ok, let me fill you in on what his been happening this past week...I have been restricted from the internet, so I haven't been able to blog lately, but I am now and, boy, do I have a lot to say.

From the title, you can probably tell that I am very confused...that's obvious...what you may not know is that I am confused because of a boy...two boys...Matt and Matt...no, the names are not what is confusing me. The first Matt, I shall refer to as Matthew, the second, as Matt, to eliminate as much confusion as possible...careful now, this trip can get a little bit like a maze.


Anywho, it all started out when I went to dance class one night...I danced with Matthew all night and by the end of the night, I was definitely crushing on him. The next time I saw him, I was falling for him even more then the first night, if such a thing was possible, so, I offered to let him read my story, just as casual conversation. He said he would love to and I wrote down the website for him on a piece of paper...along with my number. When I saw him next, he didn't seem that awkward around me. When I brought up the note in the conversation, he assured me he would call and tell me what he thought about the story. He smiled when he said it. So, me being the foolish little fourteen year old girl that I am, believed him. I have gone to two dance classes since then, and at neither of them was he present. And, what a surprise, no phone call. Now here is where Matt comes into the picture. Sara tried to set my up with Matt when we first went there...not really a blind date sort of thing, she just told me over and over again how much I would love him, seeing as he was a gentleman in all ways, he's funny, and handsome. So I went along with it. He seemed alright as a friend, but that was all...or so I thought. This past dance class, I was worrying myself silly about Matt not being there, and so I was hiding from the rest of the people, no longer in the mood to dance as I had been just hours before. I only danced with one person willingly, and that was Matt. I don't know why, but for some reason, I trusted him above all the young men in the room. When we danced, we could actually talk and we got into some very interesting conversations about love and men and women...and we laughed. As soon as that happened of course, a quote came to mind that I wanted so desperately to push away, but it came into my head anyway. "Love is the boy that can make you laugh when you don't even want to smile." My mind was racing. I couldn't be in love with Matt, could I? I was in love with Matthew, wasn't I? Every single piece of evidence I could find against my feelings was accompanied by a question. It would be so much easier to sort through this if I were to see them more often, but I only speak to them every other Friday. Anyway, I'm rambling...there's also something else going on with boys, but it's a little too personal to talk about here...anyway, I guess I'll blog something later when I've sorted through all of this.

BYL!!
~Rachel

Random Quiz at 7am

Where is your mobile phone? nonexistent
Where is your significant other? Dancing!!!
Your hair color? brown
Your mother? kitchen
Your father? work
Your favorite thing? Pretzelman!!!! (Thanks to Luis for the nickname)
Your dream last night? Scary
Your dream goal? Published
The room you're in? mine
Your hobby? Singing/writing
Your fear? Seperation
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Change
Where were you last night? Home
What im not? bored
One of your wish-list items? PretzelMan!!!!
Where you grew up? Here
The last thing you did? Slept (it’s 6:58 in the morning)
What are you wearing? Pjs!!!!!
Your TV? lost
Your pets? hiding
Your computer? bright
Your mood? UGH!!!!!
Missing someone? PretzelMan!!!!
Your car? TRUCK!!!
Something you're not wearing? Potatoes
Favourite shop? Mall
Your summer? Past
Love someone? Maybe….
Your favorite color? Blurple!!!!
When is the last time you laughed? Sara
When is the last time you cried? Pre-Sara

Copy and paste this random quiz on your blog...It doesn't take long...now, I'm off to school!!
~Rachel

Seven Things...

Okay, seeing as I haven't posted anything in a while, I have a lot to say. Seven things to be exact. *^^see the title^^*



1. The first thing on my mind is something I was thinking of yesterday, and It's something I need to say. Jeff, if you're reading this, (Sara, make sure he's reading this) I'm sorry. I said some things about you in some of my earlier posts that I'm not proud of. I thought it would make me feel strong to stand up against you, but I realize now that what I said was very un-christian and I didn't even try to see things from your point of view...so, I'm sorry.



2. The second thing I'm thinking about is love. Define it, enjoy it, live it, or give it, it's amazing no matter what. Seeing as nothing has actually happened between us yet, I can't really say any more.



3. Third thing: Writing...I haven't been doing a lot of it. It's not that I have writer's block, and it's not because people around me aren't supportive, it's because my life is good. I heard a quote once that said, "when you're in love, you can't sleep because reality is better than your dreams". This is why I haven't done any writing in a while. Right now, my life is better than anything I could make up in a story.



4. I'm getting baptized Sunday. It's going to be amazing and wonderful. I know it's something that I fully want to do, and I believe I'm ready to really commit to Christ. I can't wait!!



5. Dance class is tonight, and I'm going to invite Matt to my baptism. I'm also going to invite him to join me and some of my friends to go to a movie afterwards...we'll see how that goes.



6. My mom's health is slowly increasing, so praise God for that

7. I'm hoping I can stay the night at Sara's house before the baptism...I'll find out tonight.

Those are my seven things...what's yours???

BYL!!! (Blog Ya Later)
~Rachel

Yeah, I'm a bookworm...sue me!

Okay, I've just discovered the most wonderful invention in all the earth...and it's called the audio book...you download it, put it on your Mp3 player, and someone reads it to you...you can even put it on and then just fall asleep...It' awesome!!! I have an excerpt from "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" and I've listened to it about 3 times so far...now I just need to find out where to get more of them...tell me if you know of a website where I can get them...thanks!

The book that made my head spin

Okay, I just got done reading "The Shack" a few days ago, and man am I dizzy!!! That thing turned every little thing I know about religion upside down! My world is all topsy-turvy right now. I'm not sure which way is up when it comes to religion. Some of the ideas they mention in that book are just...crazy...but they make so much sense. I'm still trying to figure out how, though. And I can't seem to come up with anything...I don't know, but I definitely know it changed my life for the better. I recommend this book to anyone who's looking for something to do during winter break. It will change your life...and that is not an exageration!
Besides everyone acting a little strange Sunday, nothin much has been goin on. Oh well, guess I'll talk to y'all later!!!

~Rachel

My List

Just bloggin to tell ya 'bout mah life cause I iz extremely bored right now...so, yeah...I'll tell you in a list, 'cause I just feel like makin a list of things...I'll even organize 'em for ya!!

Family
1.ugh...don't ask

Church:
1. The duet with my dad went great!! I've never gotten so many complements in my entire life!! But, of course, it was all for God, so its all good!!
2. Caroling last night was awesomeness!!! and FREEZING!! but still FUN!!!!
3. We had a party afterwards and I pretty much went off into my own little world, people worried about me, asked what was wrong, I told them I was fine, and, like everytime someone asked me this in the past...I was not fine...look at number 2 on previous post if you're curious
4. We have a Christmas Eve service at the church on Wednesday and Sara will not be there...*sigh*...I'll take it as it comes

God:
1. I just realized that something I did in the past without even knowing it has become routine and quite possibly made my future more difficult...greeeeaaaaaat
2. I'm getting baptized on January 11th and I finally told my parents about it...yay-ness!!
3. I'm working on getting my prayer back to the level it should be at. I'm not talking to God nearly as much as I should these days
4. His miracles know no bounds!! I have written a new chapter in my story titled "God's Promises", which, in the process of writing, discovered a connection I thought I had lost...GO GOD!!

School:
1. There is none!!! Christmas Break saves the day!!!
2. Grades are...not so good...I'll have to work on that double time when I get back to school

Boys:
1. Well, you all know about Prince Matthew? He is officially in my story as of a couple weeks ago...sorry, forgot to mention that.
2. Sara and Andrew are doing well, as I am constantly spying on them, and have concluded that they are THE cutest couple in the world!!
3. The very next time I see Matt *cough cough* January 5th *cough cough*, I'm going to invite him to my church...if he says yes, I'll see him every four days, at least!!!! eeeeeeeep!!!!

Dancing:
1. Next dance class is Jan. 5th, meaning I can tell Matt about the baptism before it happens
2. I absolutely cannot wait to do the pretzel again with Matt...it's so FUN!!!!!

Writing:
1. In my story, I'm having a terrible time thinking of Ali's favorite dance. When she's dancing with Matthew, she likes the Swing, anyone else, the Waltz. Make up your mind, Ali!
2. I am almost to 100 pages of story and although I am bored out of my mind, I cannot think of a single word to put down on the peice of paper. Darn Writer's block.
3. I have a new blog for anyone who thinks they can write...I post parts of stories on the blog and you come up with your own ending and post it as a comment on the blog. The address is what-happens-next-you-decide.blogspot.com
4. I have only 9 days of NaNoFiMo left, meaning I need to write at least 4,000 words a night

Other:
1. Rough night last night...pray for me
2. If anyone has any idea how I can be scared of something that might not even happen, please let me know.
3. I'm bored...other than that, my life is as normal as it can be

~Rachel

P.S. Leave me comments!! I'm bored, so your comments are one of my few sources of entertainment.

It'll take a miracle...

Hey ya'll...haven't been bloggin much lately, cause I haven't been online much...I need to be more like Megs and post almost every day, but unfortunately, my life is not that interesting...so here's what's new, in order of whats on the front of my mind...

1. I am singing a duet with my dad in front the entire church tomorrow...pray for me there

2. I have some scary stuff goin on with my mom right now that's a little too personal to say here...I really need some prayer on this...for wisdom and for strength.

3. Matt was at the Snowflake ball, contrary to former belief. I danced with him 3 times and of course the best part?? We did the pretzel!!! For any of you who don't know what that is, it's the awesomest move in the swing ever invented!!

4. I am relentlessly teasing Sara about her boyfriend calling her several nicknames, and being threatened with slapping for every one of them...this is fun for me...for her, not so much..but I think if she minded I would've been slapped long ago

Oops...I have to go...BYL (Blog Ya Later)