Guess Who's Back!!! (just so you know, it's me) ^_^

Hey all! Just droppin in to say hi and apologize for not having written in so long. I should really do something to fix that. Hmm...well how about for now, I just fill you in on some of the things that have happened since I last wrote. Well first of all, Matt, one of my best friends left for Texas. I don't know if this was actually after my last post, but I don't think I really mentioned it. In any case, I've missed him a lot and I still smile when "Piano Man" plays on the radio. Church is going great, but I've been struggling in my relationship with God lately. It's not that I have made idols of objects, but rather of people. I feel that in searching for the ultimate love and comfort, I've settled for less than perfect, therefore cheating God, myself, and several around me. That's something I'm definitely working on. My friends have been really great :) I mean, we have our issues, but we use them as growing experiences and we are stronger because of it. I am sad to say that I have lost at least one of my friends because of the fact that they didn't want to learn from our struggles, but rather dwell on the pain and point fingers. I do hate that I had to break off the friendship, but I believe that God has a purpose for both of us, and that when we are both farther in our walk, perhaps we may discover a deeper and better friendship for the both of us, with God in the center. Until then, I still love her as if she was my sister. As far as family goes, we are struggling, but we are making it through. It is amazing to me how many times I overlook the simple fact that despite all the pain and suffering and scars that we have all endured, our family is still together and for that, I cannot thank God enough. I've learned in the past few months to be thankful for suffering because that is the ONLY way to beat the devil at his game. Fight darkness with light, fight lies with the truth, and fight creature with creator. Without the light, there cannot be darkness (the absense of light), without truth, there cannot be lies (the absence of truth), and without a creator, the creature of the devil could never be; If the creators are ever to turn against their creation, the battle is already won. This is what we have to keep in mind at all times. The battle that we fight is already won. That's why every single struggle and joy that I've been through in these past few months has all been worth it. Anyway, I think I'm at the point where I'm just rambling. ;) I'll blog later, because I'm sure I'll have lots to talk about. :)

Love,
~Rachel

VBS Lessons

Who says the kids are the only ones that learn during VBS. The guides learn quite a few things as well. For example, Olivia learned that a paperball to the side of the head can hurt long after the incident. Sara learned that "train tag" can sometimes trigger chain-reaction tripping. Sam learned, after being nicknamed "The Cute One" and "My new boyfriend" by some of the girls, that he is very popular with the younger crowd. I learned that when you give a sugar-pumped 2nd grader a foam noodle and tell them to "tag" the other kids, people are going to get beamed in the head. Yes, there certainly are some interesting lessons to be learned at Vacation Bible School. But more important than these lessons, though they are funny to hear about, are the lessons we learn that opens our eyes to yet another layer of God's nature. On this subject, I learned about Joy. No, I'm not talking about the song. I'm talking about Joy like what you see on the kid's faces when they sing Jesus Loves Me rock and roll at the top of their lungs because they can. It's the laughing you hear during game time in between the paper fights and noodle duels. And it's even on Pastor Wayne's face when he shows how many cars we got for our food back train tonight. I believe that that's the kind of Joy he gives each and every one of us, all the time. Yet somehow, we all live our lives as though we don't have any reason to be happy half the time. I think it's high time that we injected a little more Joy into our lives and started looking at things the way God intended, instead of through the thick cloud of negativity and doubt that this world so happily provides. I'm not immune from this myself. I'm going to make a change to start taking the Joy that I've been given and actually using it. Starting now. :)

BYL!

~Rachel

The True Lover of my Heart

I have had a revalation. I have (finally) discovered that if you give everything to God, he really will bless you and give you everything you need. It's been preached to me more than half my life, but I never really felt it until now. God truly is as amazing as he claims he is. He is the way, the truth, the light, and nothing less. I choose to put my all into following him, no matter what the cost because I know that he will provide me with everything I need along the way. I will do nothing unless the Lord asks it of me and if ever I feel him calling me to something, I will go without a second thought. I trust him with my life. I know that my life is not my own, but was bought with a price, and I will humbly serve the Lord my God with everything I am and everything that I do. I pray that he would shape me into the person I need to be for him.

Change

I don't know what's going on with me. It's like I'm a different person all of the sudden. I used to be able to talk to people about my life and how I was feeling and now it just seems like I don't have the words. Talking to the people closest to me doesn't fix things like it used to. It's like everything that used to be is now far away from me. It might be a good thing, but I'm really not sure right now. But I've always been afraid of change and that's one thing that's still the same. It's just hard to tell if the world is changing or if it's me. I haven't stopped praying about it, but I seem to just change more. I need answers and I'm right now I've got nothing to go on. I don't know what to do anymore.

What have I done?

I don't like feeling like burden. I try my best to be self sufficient and it seems like just my being there is a problem for people. I don't understand this at all. Now everyone is either mad at me or completely ignoring me and I'm once again alone. I need help. God, please help me to understand what to do and how to act. If this is where you want me, I can only ask for strenth to make it through. I'll follow where you lead me. Amen.

~Rachel

Peace

I think I'm finally at peace with all the things that have happened and are happening in my life. No, things don't always go the way I plan, but I know that they all work for God's plan and that's good enough for me. "We know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, those who he has called according to his purpose"~Romans 8:28 It all makes sense to me now. Mostly with the important stuff in life. One of things I thought was the cause of a lot of negative stuff in my life, turned out to be the thing that brought me to the biggest positive things. It's just like I've finally come to accept all of it and it's an amazing feeling. Praise God, because I know none of this would be this way without him.

Summer Plan

Summer is almost here, and I haven't really been planning much. I know that I'm going to read through the entire new testiment, which is great, cause then I'll have at least a chunk of the bible completely read! But now I have a new plan. I am going to take one month each of Summer to study three parts of my walk with God. Prayer, Bible Reading(see above), and Quiet Time. I haven't been spending as much time with God as I should have been this past year, and I plan to change all that this summer. I'll spend one month really focusing on one aspect and then at the next month, I'll switch to another. By the end of this summer, and with God's help, I'll be closer to him and living a better life because of it. I don't know what the final results of this summer will be, but I know it can't hurt. I'll just start where I am, and I'll follow God through the summer. Can't wait!

BYL!

~Rachel